Men and Sex: ‘Esquire' Discovers The Secret (Sex) Lives of The American Man


Men apparently think about sex 19 times a day -- or about once every hour and a half. But what do men’s sex lives look like outside of their own heads? That’s exactly what Esquire sought to discover in its “Sex and the American Man” survey.

The magazine randomly selected 522 men across the country of all ages, marital statuses, sexual identities and ethnic backgrounds to participate. Esquire asked these men about their most intimate sexual desires and habits, as well as their beliefs about monogamy, sexual identity and pornography. And while some of the results were less than surprising -- a lot of men wouldn't mind sleeping with Mila Kunis! -- others were pretty surprising. We rounded up 11 of the most interesting findings below -- for more, see the full survey results in the April issue of Esquire, on stands now.

LOOK: 11 Things We Learned From Esquire’s “Sex and the American Man” Survey


Married Men Are Happier With Their Sex Lives Than Singles

Sixty-six percent of married men reported being satisfied with their sex lives, while only 47 percent of single men did. While this defies the "sexless marriage" stereotype, these stats also could be a byproduct of the frustrating sexual experiences that tend to accompany casual dating.

Men's "Lists" Are Shorter Than You Think

When asked about how many sexual partners they'd had over their lifetimes, 62 percent of men said that they had been with 10 or fewer sexual partners. However, lots of men still do get around -- 22 percent reported having 20 or more sexual partners.

What Men Want To Do To You Depends A Lot On Age

Men in their 20's were almost twice as likely to report wishing they could spend more time stimulating their partner's breasts than men in their 40s were. On the flip side, 29 percent of older men reported wishing they could perform oral sex on their partners more often, while only 18 percent of men in their 20s said the same.

The #1 Thing Men Want More Of In Bed Is ...

Forty-three percent of men surveyed told Esquire that they wanted to receive more oral sex from their partners.

Men Aren't Watching As Much Porn As You Might Think

Contrary to popular belief, men are pretty split when it comes to watching porn. Only 24 percent said that they watch at least once a day. Twenty-seven reported watching once a week, 20 percent said they almost never watch, and 17 percent claimed to never watch it. Most of those who admitted watching said they prefer watching a man and a woman having sex -- only 13 percent want to see two women together.

Technology Factors Into Men's Sex Lives

A sizeable portion of the men surveyed (21 percent) said that they had shot some sort of footage of themselves having sex -- though only 9 percent said that they still had that footage. (In the Internet age, it's probably safest to hit delete.) But men seem to be less cautious when it comes to photos. Twenty-six percent of men said that they'd emailed sexually suggestive images to someone. And unsurprisingly, men in their 20s were three times as likely as men in their 50s to have emailed sexy photos.

They Need Time To Recharge

Most of the men surveyed reported that they needed to take at least a little break between each round of sex. Forty percent said that they need an hour before getting going again.

Most Men Aren't Having Sex All That Often

The majority of men said that they generally had sex three times a week or less. Thirty-two percent said that they had sex once to three times a week, while 33 percent reported having sex less than once a week.

Most Men Aren't Jumping Into Bed With Strangers

Although men and women both have one-night-stands with strangers on occasion, most men said that the majority of their sexual encounters are with people that they know at least moderately well. Twenty-seven percent said that they had known their most recent sexual partner for a few weeks, 28 percent said a few months and 21 percent said a few years.

(Some) Men Cheat

Of the men who were in committed relationships, 34 percent said that they'd had at least one other sexual partner since the relationship began. Understandably, most men judge cheating on a case-by-case basis, with almost half saying that they were unsure how they'd judge a friend who cheated on his wife because "marriage is complicated."

But Most Men Believe In Monogamy

Though some men who hadn't cheated said that it would be "conceivable" that they would cheat on a partner they were committed to in the future, many men said they wouldn't dream of it. Fifty-eight percent of men told Esquire that they "believe strongly in lifelong monogamy."

By |

Keep Reading

Many couples after years of marriage get to a point where arguments dominant intimacy, and the once sense...
Rihanna's latest interview with Oprah has brought the issue of abuse and the complex relationship women share with...
As survivors of Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts and summer camp, teenagers know that BFFs aren’t always forever....

Comments (0)

Post new comment

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

Follow Arab Women Now on Facebook Follow Arab Women Now on Twitter

Shop Online


VOW: thevoiceofawoman

Girl Effect: The Clock is Ticking